Bow Down

This is the first Christmas in six years where I’m not scrambling to decorate a church for Christmas, recruit new and old volunteers, and find time to enjoy friends and family. I have time. It’s crazy and such a gift. In this season of down time, God gave me a word, “BOW DOWN”. I don’t fully know the meaning or purpose of this yet, but God has led me to a couple different ways of “studying” it and discovering what He might mean. First, I’ve been listening to the song Defender, over and over. The bridge sings, “All I did was praise. All I did was worship. All I did was BOW DOWN. All I did was stay still.” These words describe this season for me. I feel I am to just “be” in His presence, worship Him, and let Him show up and show off. I also felt led to study The Christmas Story in regards to the words bow down.

So, I started in the book of Matthew, the first account of Jesus’ birth. The first time we see “bow down” in Matthew’s gospel is when the wise men come and fall down before Jesus and worship him. Matthew 2:11 says, “And going into the house they saw the child with Mary his mother, and they fell down and worshiped him. Then, opening their treasures, they offered him gifts, gold and frankincense and myrrh.” What was the significance for them to bow down? (We’ll talk about the significance of their gifts in another post). These wise, knowledgeable men, were not only in awe and worship of The Messiah, but in complete surrender of their treasures and gifts as well. I wholeheartedly resonate with this concept in this season. Daily, I am on my knees in prayer for my life’s direction as well as for provision of future clients. My prayer has been: Jesus, help me use the gifts you’ve given me, wherever, however, and with whomever. After reading this verse, I’ve extended that prayer to not just my gifts, but my treasures as well. Jesus, use my house for Your glory, make it a safe place and refuge for me and every person who enters my door. Use my money, in this season of no income, multiply, provide, and lead me to give however you see fit. Use me in my relationships with those I hold dearest to me, help me encourage, care for, and spur on those around me. Use my time, help me fill my schedule with what You would have me do and who You would have me meet or talk with.

For today, I am challenged to bow down to His lordship and fully surrender everything I have, my treasures and gifts, and watch what HE does. Holding with open hands all I have. Surrendering my will to whatever HE has planned. Learning to be still and surrendered to His direction, whether He uses a star to guide me or simply the stillness of my schedule to remind me: He is worthy. Worthy of my worship, praise, adoration, time, treasures, and gifts. To Him and Him alone, I bow down.

Ask. Seek. Knock.

This morning I was reading Luke 11. You know those days when you just really need God to speak and show up. It’s been that kind of weekend…well week really… for me. I’ve been on my knees for months about some very specific prayer requests. Every time I prayed, I knew God was telling me to wait for HIS timing and HIS “go” before doing or saying anything. So, I’ve been waiting. But as I’ve waited, I’ve written and prayed countless prayers, asking God to show up. Seeking His heart and asking Him to lead mine. But as Luke 11:8 reads, “…yet because of his impudence, he will rise and give him whatever he needs.” Because this man would not stop asking, seeking, and knocking, the home owner finally got up in the middle of the night to answer his prayers. (Funny, those of you who have walked this recent journey with me will understand this moment: I just realized this verse reference: 11:8!! 118. 1:18! Wow, God is really hitting me with that number this year). This man was, by definition, marked by contemptuous/cocky/boldness. I’ve felt that way this last month. Boldly asking. Praying the “You gotta come through, Jesus” line. And you know what, God answered - LATE last night! He finally answered my impudence knocking. My unrestrained asking. My heart seeking. And just like this man, it came, literally, in the middle of the night. Thank You Jesus!!!

So, here’s my encouragement for today: Keep Asking! Keep Seeking! Keep Knocking! Be bold. Be specific. Don’t stop until God comes through and answers. Because, He will!

The tiniest of details

I went for a hike today. Some of my best times with Jesus are on quiet hikes where life slows down and His voice becomes more clear. I feel His presence all around and I am able to re-center myself on what really matters. Today was no different. I decided to get off the beaten path and hike a trail that weaves through a local canyon. The stillness of the trail and sounds of nature were exactly what my soul needed. The wildflowers were in full bloom and the birds were singing proud and loud. It reminded me of Matthew 6. Do not worry (mind you, this is a command). Look at the birds, they don’t worry. See the flowers, they don’t labor or spin. And how much more is your worth then those?! What does worrying add to your life?

I began to pick wild flowers as I went. (Potentially illegal?) Today, I only wanted the ones with intricate detail that really stood out to me: a beautiful and pure white flower with a fun surprise at night when it closes its petals and purple lines the backside. Or the tiny yellow ones with green stripes running through it veins. The pine-looking bush that produces the most vibrant pink flowers at the end of the stem. The California poppy, blasting an orange burst of color to the contrasting brown soil surrounding it. The tiniest details on the smallest most unseen flowers. Gorgeous. Stunning. I wonder if God smiled big when He saw me notice His handiwork today.

The wildflowers reminded me: isn’t this how we are to be? Not worrying and toiling and spinning. But simply rooted where He plants us and growing towards The Son as He adds color and brilliance into our lives. I needed to remember this today. Not only that, but it makes me think of my everyday interactions as well. We each have the opportunity to bring a splash of color, an unexpected wonder, or an intricate design to the environments and cultures we find ourselves in. Whether it be an office, a friend’s house, a conversation, or a church lobby, we have the ability to bring life and light into each situation. Our attention to details, the tone of our voice, the hope or joy we bring to a conversation, or simply a smile and a “glad you’re here today”. The tiniest details can make the biggest impressions.

I want to be like a wildflower. Unique, a bit wild, unexpected, cheerful, full of wonder and design, and a bright presence that lights up a room.

Filled...with Power

I’ve been reading through the gospels, one paragraph a day, for the past year and a half. This past week I studied The Temptation of Jesus in Luke. The passage begins with Jesus, “full of the Holy Spirit…was led by the Spirit into the wilderness”. If Jesus, the Son of God, was filled with the Spirit how much more do I need to be filled by Him as well?! And not just somewhat filled, but fully filled. To the brim. Overflowing.  Notice: The Spirit leads, brings, allows, escorts Jesus into the wilderness to be tempted. Fascinating. This begs the question, why?? Why would The Spirit do this? Why does The Spirit lead us into these scenarios and seasons? I would dare to say it’s because He only wants us filled and dependent on Him. Nothing counterfeit. And we are only truly filled when we spend time daily in His presence and are consistently reminded of our identity and worth found in Him alone.

 For the first time ever I realized, “for forty days, (Jesus was) being tempted by the devil” (Luke 4:2) not just the three temptations we read about!!! This led me to ask myself: What other temptations did Jesus withstand, encounter and go through during those forty days? Why do we only get to see three of them? How often do I feel like I’m in a constant state of temptation and trial? I can’t wait to get to Heaven and ask Jesus what else happened… What I love is knowing Jesus understands the in and out struggles of when we’re “in it”: He’s been there, He identifies, He knows, and He has compassion because He understands.

As I began to study one temptation a day, so many little nuggets of goodness stood out. “Man shall not live by bread alone” was Jesus’ response to the first temptation of turning rocks into bread. I mean, he had been fasting for forty days and was surely hungry, maybe even hangry. Jesus, instead of giving in, responds with a quote from Deuteronomy where the Israelites have wandered for FORTY YEARS and were fed by manna. Forty, the symbol in the bible for a season of testing or trial. The Israelites were in a rough spot and given enough provision for one day only, no more no less. I had the realization that when we are down and out, hungry and tired, sad and overwhelmed, confused and disappointed, we are always tempted to find comfort and dependence on something other than God himself. The first temptation is all about our daily dependence on Jesus.  What am I relying on? Am I relying on myself or other things instead of knowing God will provide for my need with just the right amount at the exact time I need it? It begs the question for all of us: What am I truly depending on?

The second temptation was Satan wanting Jesus’ worship. Oh how we can all relate to different things wanting our worship…whether it be work, a relationship, money, status, or our physique, we all face our own individual battle. I sat with the questions: What am I worshiping? What am I serving? What has my attention and passion? Where is my time going? And what does all this say about my heart? Because what we worship, we serve.

Lastly, Satan questions Jesus’ identity, “IF you are the Son of God”. Jesus again wins the battle by quoting scripture that He learned by listening and spending time with His Father. The phrase that caught my eye in this paragraph was not the temptation itself but the phrase right after: “And when the devil had ended EVERY temptation, he departed from him UNTIL an opportune time”. Every temptation. There were many... Isn’t it amazing that God himself can identify with every temptation?! But even more so, take notice:  Satan knows he’s not leaving Jesus alone for long because he’s waiting “until an opportune time” to come back. Always be ready. Always be watching. And always remember, we can overcome when we are filled with the Holy Spirit!

But I have to say, the most exciting part of this story was revealed in today’s paragraph: “And Jesus returned IN THE POWER OF THE SPIRIT to Galilee.” Remember, He was “full of the Holy Spirit” and “led by the Spirit”, but now, after He endured and resisted all the temptations in the wilderness, He returns in POWER! We’ve all heard the phrase: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And here it is, biblically speaking. Jesus, filled with the Holy Spirit, is victorious over the enemy and comes out even stronger!! When we withstand temptations, trials, and struggles, this brings strength and power to our faith. We experience the working power of the Holy Spirit not just in us, but through us. We enter into a new level of power and strength when we utilize and capitalize on His power. Because “greater is He that is IN us than he that is in the world” (I John 4:4). Because “in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him” (Romans 8:37). May it be so of us. May we stand out in this world, not just filled with the Spirit, but may we be a living and active example of the POWER of The Spirit.

Unexpected Answers

I want to be known as a woman who follows passionately and wholeheartedly after Jesus. A woman whose life is marked by the leading of the Holy Spirit. When He calls, I answer. When He says stay, I stay. And when He says go, I go. That’s been the story of my life and I want it as my legacy. This passion began when I was 17 years old. In the second semester of my senior year, I remember falling to my knees on my bedroom floor and telling God, “If you can use me and my story to help anyone, then use me”. That simple and raw prayer started me on an adventure of a life time. At times I’ve felt like I’m a cat with nine lives (although I hate cats so I don’t like to compare myself to one…sorry to any of you who like them). I’ve lived and moved all over the country and had the widest range of jobs due to the Holy Spirits prompting. When I interviewed for my last job, my resume had five different jobs represented on it with five different states and most of the references were not in the same states. The Chief of Staff said, “your resume makes you look haphazard and inconsistent”. My response was, “All I can tell you is when Jesus tells me to go, I go”. And it’s true.

This season is no different. In July of 2018, after working at a large church in Southern California for five and a half years, I felt a prompting from the Holy Spirit that it was time to move jobs again. I didn’t know where or what, but I knew He was calling me to go. For months I prayed, fasted, and met with mentors. God was not making it clear where to go, but I knew something was in the works. In November of 2018, I went on a solo retreat to the mountains of Utah to seek Jesus fully on what to do. I felt so strongly in my gut I was to leave, but I didn’t have a job or direction. I started my solo retreat with another simple prayer: “God, if I’m to quit my job, I want to see a Moose”. In the past, God has used owls to answer prayers, so I figured when in Utah…ask for a moose. The days went by as I faithfully prayed, read, and journaled. On hikes, I was constantly aware of any movement or sound in the woods in hopes that a moose would appear. Everything I was reading was saying “get out of the boat”, “take a step of faith”, “walk with blind faith”, but I still hadn’t seen a moose. On the second to the last day of my time in the mountains, I got frustrated. “God, you keep saying ‘go’, but you’re not bringing me a moose and I know you can do it”. My eyes filled with tears as I looked out the and watched the snow fall. All of a sudden, the sun pierced through the clouds and illuminated the chimney flue of the house next door. It was a moose! Immediately I got chills all over my body and started sobbing. I dropped to my knees in complete surrender, knowing God had brought me a moose and was calling me to leave my job in total blind faith.

I came home confident to put my notice in at work.

The night before I was to tell my boss I was resigning, I went for a walk in my neighborhood to rehearse what I was going to say. As I was walking, I saw the cutest little puppy.  I NEVER ask to pet anyone’s dog, but this puppy seemed to lure me in so I asked the owner if I could pet him. She agreed. As I knelt down the puppy began to jump all around and lick me. Immediately the owner said, “Moose. Moose, get down”. My head jerked up. “What is the dog’s name?”. She responded, “Moose, his name is Moose”. I burst into laughter and said, “You have to take a picture of me and your dog!!”

Sometimes God answers our prayers instantly. Sometimes clearly. Sometimes He takes His sweet time. And other times, He brings us chimney flues and puppies to answer our requests in the most hilarious and unexpected ways. Wherever you find yourself today, know He will lead you. He will answer. He does speak. And I don’t know about you, but I want to be one who listens and obeys. Because in doing so, He takes us down exciting paths that build, develop, and shape us for whatever adventure lies ahead.